I Should Be Disqualified As a Parent

What parent would let their kid do this?
Yet again, I read something that made me realize how completely unqualified I am to be a parent. Ugh. My poor kids.

That article reminded me that I have anger issues. It used to be really bad -- before I allowed Jesus to really work on my heart -- and now it's only sort of bad. Sometimes I think that it's not so much that I'm doing better with it, but that I do a much better job of hiding it. At least, I let it come out in ways besides obvious physical and emotional frustration.

I've written about my kids being proud and getting frustrated. When we try to engage, correct, and lead them, they often put up a mental and emotional wall. Then, I get more frustrated, which makes them put up a stronger wall, which I fight against even more, and so on.

I need to remember that my job is not to fix all their behaviors and attitudes. My job is to help them seek Jesus. Only God, working via the Holy Spirit in their lives, can change them.

I think in many of my methods and motives, which are saturated with pride and anger, I think that I cause them to react in rebellion toward me. And when they are in rebellion against me, they are in rebellion against God. So, whereas I am supposed to help lead them toward God and His gospel, I actually step in between.

What I need most as I parent my children is not a better method or book or words. What I need most is to have my own heart changed by the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Related Links:


  1. You're not alone. I have been memorizing James 1:19-20 and reminding myself in the heat of it that human anger does NOT accomplish God's righteousness. Whether fleshed out or not. Sin stinks!

  2. You are so right. The problem is that I'm much more concerned about my righteousness, instead of God's!

  3. How Children Raise Parents—by Dan Allender

    When I finish it, I'll have a blog post...

  4. Jen -- read that a few years ago. It would be worth me re-reading it. Great, great book. Let me know when you have a post, please.