A young child does need protection (since "foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child" -- Proverbs 22:15), though many parents (as I have been at times) could stand to give there child more room. But definitely by the teen years, a child needs significantly more independence. They need to feel the weight of responsibility and consequences, while also feeling the joy of accomplishment.
The moral: Don't be a life-long helicopter parent.
See this graphic below, and be sure to click through to the article by The Art of Manliness, for more on this topic.
Related Link:
- Parent Link (an equipping event by Grace Church, from January 31)
**first image courtesy of isakoc via sxc.hu; second image from Art of Manliness
Agree! It isn't always easy, especially when I feel my child was treated unfairly or is experiencing an injustice. I have found keeping that end goal in mind helps so much. If I keep their current hurt or situation at the front of my mind, I want to enter it with them. I want to rescue them. But if I keep their future in focus, their future maturity as an adult in mind and the growth God may be desiring in them through this circumstances, it helps me keep perspective.
ReplyDeleteWe have seen this played out with grades in school (error made in grade recording), in sports and in church. We have found it helpful when we coach them through the conversation with the authority, but let them appeal and own their responsibility. Even when they don't get the end result they want (more playing time, better grade, classroom assignment) they mature through the process making it a win for them and for us.
Can you tell we have walked this one recently? Thanks for posting! Love the visuals with this one.
Thanks for leaving this insight and example. Yeah, can totally see that you all have gone down this path recently.
ReplyDeleteI love how you are equipping Mac to handle his deal. I hope we can do half as good with our kids. But I see the opposite end, where I am having to correct 16 & 17 year olds face-to-face (and it was something I didn't make a big deal of), and then I have parents upset that they weren't notified first. I have a feeling they're going to be the ones calling their kids' professors one day.