A Different Way

A Gospel-Positive Approach to Dealing with Selfishness

Do your kids struggle with selfishness? If not, stop reading now.

But for the other 99.8% of us, I have some thoughts for you. I could have used any number of examples over the past few ~~months~~ ~~weeks~~ ~~days~~ hours. I will leave with one example.

Why this one? Because where I usually just overbear my children with commands ("Share, or else."), God showed me how I can engage their sinful hearts, while also affirm their value to God.

How is that? Read more on my latest guest post for the Family Matters blog, Gospel Positive Correction.

I'm selfishly positive you'll want to do this.

Other posts on the topic of selfishness:

Selected guests posts on Family Matters:

Be Intentional This Summer

"Sadly, it's much easier to create a desert than a forest."

-- James Lovelock (scientist / environmentalist)

It's hard work to build something useful. It's much easier to let something decay over time. For example, look at my car (peeling paint) or my wife's minivan (one hubcap left).

The same is true with our summers. For many of us, summer is seen as a time to relax and unwind and go-with-the-flow. And the rest is good.

But in our rest, let us not grow lazy. Let us build the forests of our lives, and not decay into deserts.

Do something constructive, for yourselves and to bless others. Grow spiritually (see the video below from Grace Church). Plan and create experiences, instead of just buying things. Memorize scripture or other literary works. Join your library reading club; this may be required for your kids, but make sure you are reading with them! Take the DoSummer Challenge (it started yesterday but it's not too late).

Whatever you do, whether you are working or resting, make your summer intentional.

"Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

~ I Corinthians 10:31

Arizona Boys Trip [15 Pictures]

My sons and I had a great time in Sedona, Arizona (and at the Grand Canyon), courtesy of my Uncle Ricky and Delta Skymiles.

(A few more photos on my Facebook page.)

I hope you get some good vacation time this summer!

Favorite Tweets for May

From my birthday, to my sons and I taking a long-weekend in Arizona -- it's been a good month.

Here are some top tweets from May:

From Others:

@anonbaptist: Many churches are like the electric plugs in my parent's house: polarized and not grounded.

@MarkMerrill: Parenting is “heart work.” It’s not just about outward obedience; it’s about the inward attitude of your child.

@ChalmersCenter: “Just understanding that our money is God's money, and that He wants us to use it, is powerful.” – Faith & Finances Grad

@JobsforLife: “It is a frightful satire on the modern age that the only use it knows for solitude is to make it a punishment..." #NationalDayofPrayer

@StAugOsteen: There is no saint without a past, no sinner without a future. Crows can’t hang with eagles.

@RayYarmartino: If we're still using fax machines by the year 2030 I'm pretty sure our planet gets disqualified from the universe.

@BruceFowler22: Proud to have 25 players on the SoCon Honor Roll!! Thankful for the effort our players make to excel in the classroom. #OneFurman

@ScottSauls: Never trust a preacher who speaks as if the problem with the world is other people.

From Me:

I just wore jeans to a job interview. Have I given up all hope?

My son was vacuuming at 7:10 AM. #AcceptResponsibility

No, @discounttire sales guy. I've never thought of getting custom wheels for our 16-year-old minivan. #thanksbutnothanks

"Mr. Espinosa, I thought we weren't going to have any tests or homework after PASS testing?" #wrong

Parenting, Sin, and Ezekiel

I often feel helpless in my feeble attempts to reach my kids' hearts. Can you relate? If so, Kim Ransleben has some great wisdom for us:

"Again, we know this parable in our own lives and in the lives of our children. So often, we’ve seen them walk through the motions of a gospel-centered life, doing what they “know” is right, but without the power of the Spirit. They have the appearance of life and all the right structures in place, but the heart is not beating. . . .

God, being rich in mercy, promised that he would restore Israel. He would give them life, fill them with his Spirit, make them his people. Isn’t that all we really want for our kids? We want their hearts to be his, not just their motions. We want God’s kingdom to come in them and through them. We want them to treasure Jesus above all things.

And what was true for Ezekiel’s day is still true for ours. The life for which we long comes by speaking of the words of God — by sharing, again and again, the word of Christ. . . .

Go into the chaotic, death-filled valley of your kids’ sins and walk amongst it all because you know that every raindrop that falls on the earth today shows his mercy toward those who’ve rejected him (Matthew 5:45). Serve them with peace and humility because you can smell the breakfast cooking on the beach for a man who, three times, denied even knowing Jesus (John 21:9–19). . . .

Do not fear the death you see in their lives. God knows what to do with it. After all, dry bones are all he’s ever had to work with in his people."

Read the full article, Parenting in the Valley of Dry Bones.

"Going" on Mission

It's the most-cited passage of missionaries (and missions committees) everywhere:

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20)

But have we missed the point? Have we focused so much on the first word, that we have misunderstand the core command?

In the original Greek, there is one strong verb -- one command -- from Jesus: make disciples. The other verbs are participles, describing what it looks like to make disciples:

going
baptizing
teaching

Note that a better translation of "go" is "going." This is not a command to go anywhere, but to make disciples as we are going through life, everywhere and every day.

Helpful Questions as Your Children Go

In Sharing Jesus as We Go, Brian Dembowczyk explains that this means "as you go" or "as you are going." He explains:

"Realizing that the verb that begins the Great Commission can be translated “as you are going” should give us a different perspective of how we are to live it out. This verb phrase positions the Great Commission as a task in our daily lives, not just on mission trips.

As I go to work. As I go to the store. As I go to school. As I go to the ball field. As I go through my daily routine, whatever that looks like, I make disciples."

Then he gives four helpful questions we can use to guide them to think about how they can share Jesus as they go, not just when they go on mission trips:

Where do you go?
Who do you know?
How do you grow?
What can you show?

Of course, these same four questions will help us also live on mission for Jesus and the gospel. Be sure to read the full article.

"Sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence." (I Peter 3:15)

The Gift of Encouragement

My wife and Gary Chapman agree: my "love language" is words of affirmation.

I'm not sure if my daughter, Hannah, knows that. But something she did recently filled my "love tank" to the full.

On my birthday (earlier this month), she gave me a beautiful handmade card. But the best part of the present was the gift of her encouragement.

Want to learn more? Check out my latest post on the Family Matters blog.

Then check out these related posts:

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Helpful Questions as Your Children Go