A Different Way

List of Parenting Questions

In case you missed them, here are a list of some of the parenting questions that I've covered over the past few months, with links to my responses.

Do Boys Also Need Modeling and Teaching?

Do you have any other parenting-related questions?

Response to "A Case for Homeschooling"

The timing of the article couldn’t have been better. On this blog, we had just finished a series on education options for children, including perspectives from families who have chosen home, private, and public schooling. Each family explained why that option was best for their own family, and how they have seen God work in it for His glory.

Then, within a few days of concluding our series, I saw this post on another blog: A Case for Homeschooling: Is There A "Biblical Model" for Education?

I was interested not only because we had just finished our own series where a balanced view was presented, but also because we ourselves have homeschooled our own children.

The author starts out by saying that while she sees a strong Biblical support for homeschooling, she is not saying that other options are sin. She then goes on to explain how homeschooling lines up with some Biblical principles, especially on the need to shepherd and protect the hearts of our children. Additionally, she equates homeschooling to a traditional, Hebrew mindset, and public school to a Greek approach to education.

In a number of points that the author brings up, I agree wholeheartedly. I do feel like one can make a case that homeschooling lines up with some core biblical principles. However, I have a number of objections to the author’s rationale. I addressed some of these in the comments section on that post, but will elaborate more here:

image courtesy of ba1969 via sxc.hu

Be careful of Bible references used out of context. Yes, the principles that are brought up in the verses presented are true. But in none of these passages is the writer (inspired by God) saying, “This principle is true. Therefore, you should home school your child.” Deuteronomy 6 and Proverbs 1, for example, are passages about worship, not education.
We need a better definition for “home school.” Going along with the above point, I would make the case that those passages and principles apply no matter what schooling option is chosen. In truth, we all “home school.” We all need to be equipping our children with life lessons. But this is true regardless of who teaches a child reading, writing, and arithmetic.
We all need to engage our children. I’ve heard this before (and saw it especially in the comments section on that post), that people tend to equate public school with “throwing your kids in the wilderness and hoping they survive.” This is true if the parent is not continually engaging and equipping the child. But I would defend certain families that I know who have their kids in public school, who have wonderful opportunities to talk about their days in the context of the gospel and God’s kingdom. In fact, I am a little envious of their opportunities, and I applaud their efforts.
Neglect can occur in any education system. God does not want us to “throw our kids in the wilderness” of public school, but I have seen this happen a lot. But I have also seen parents use private “Christian” school as a crutch or substitute. And I have even known neglectful homeschooling parents, who give the kids some worksheets and videos every day, but don’t really educate their children.
Traditional does not always mean biblical. The author says that Hebrew families homeschooled (Yay!), whereas the Greek philosophy incorporated public school (Boo!). Hey, I love (almost) all things Jewish, but let’s not equate tradition with Bible-certified. That’s one of the issues I have with the parenting resource Parenting by the Book.

Don’t get me wrong; I am a fan of homeschooling. I am just not a fan of someone saying something to the tune of, “The Bible says Christians should homeschool.” Even more relevant to this article, I think it's worse to say, "The Bible says that Christians should not send their children to public schools."

The Power of Presentation

Tedd Tripp writes about how we "present yourself" to our children, which should point them to the glory of God. This is especially true in the area of obedience / submission. We need to teach our children that submitting to God's authority is primarily manifested by how they obey us.

Tripp exhorts us,

"Teaching children, especially young children, to see the importance of obeying Mom and Dad is not an easy task. Presentation is important."

Want to read more? Read the full article here.

A Rough Start, But God Is Faithful

The second week the Boys & Girls Club was up and running, I was so excited for my family to be able to join me, even if just for a couple of days. Hannah would be in the class with the older age-group (where I am most of the time), and Elijah and Sender would be in the youngest group (kindergarten - 1st grade), whereas Joanna mostly served in the middle (2nd and 3rd graders).

We all go there early. While Joanna and I set up and planned, our kids explored the building and played.

At 3:15, kids from Fairfax Elementary started arriving. By 3:30, Elijah came to me on the verge of tears.

Why? Keep reading on the Mission: Allendale blog.

Poll: Children, Baptism, & Communion

Over the next couple of weeks, I plan to have some more posts about baptism and communion. We have already given a theology for baptism, plus I gave my opinion that most young children are not ready for baptism. Then, I gave a summary of an event we had a few years ago, which helped give principles as we parents shepherd our children through salvation and baptism.

I hope to give more information and direction, especially regarding communion, and it's connection to baptism. I hope they will be helpful for you.

For now, you can help me out by taking the polls to the right. There is one poll regarding baptism, and one for communion. Please answer both questions.

Thanks for participating!

We Partied Like It Was 1999, Because It Was 1999

Twelve years ago today is when Joanna and I started dating. Truly, we did party like it was 1999. We started dating on March 3, got engaged on July 18, and married on December 11. Oh, and in August I received my Master's degree and started my career. Thank you, Prince, for capturing the memory for us (even though you wrote the song in 1982).

Joanna and I had gotten to know each other through a singles Bible study group, playing ultimate frisbee and having other fellowship events, and mostly through serving together at Carpenter's Cellar Coffeehouse (anyone else remember that?). She ran the place (open every weekend, usually with bands on Friday and Saturday nights), and I helped by getting drinks at Sam's Club, and by serving when I could. There were many quite Sunday afternoons where we had the chance to talk and get to know each other on a deeper level.

Probably the greatest part of all the time that we spent learning about each other was that there was no romantic interest on either of our parts. (I still don't believe her, but whatever. Maybe she was wounded because the first time I met her I totally blew her off.) We were in a great season in life where we were each growing in Christ and focused on Him.

But over time, the Spirit was working in our hearts, individually. Feels of attraction and admiration grew. And on this date in history, I had my first job interview, and to celebrate, Joanna cooked me dinner (fajitas!). And, well, as they say, "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Of course, there is more to the story (did I leave out the part that not long before we started dating, I was pretty sure that God wanted me to be single the rest of my life, and I was excited about it?). But I just want everyone to know how blessed I am to have a partner, an Ezer, in Joanna. If I had to go back 12 years, I would do it all over again.

If you are married, give your spouse a shout out right now.

Related Links:

Learning About Children from a Guy Who Doesn't Have Any

Meeting the Expert

The day before I met Kory Kraft, I had an interview with the Boys & Girls Club of Southern Carolina, applying for the Unit Director position in Allendale County. I had already set up the lunch with him, to learn about how to run an after school program. (Good timing, since within a few hours after lunch, I had the job offer, and would start working at the Club in less than a week.) Help was most definitely needed.

Kory had been serving and leading at The Frazee Center for about 4 years now. He went from not knowing much about young children, to serving, to now being over programming for multiple grade levels (including dozens of children) every afternoon and through the year. I knew he would have a lot of advice to offer me.

The Expert’s Counsel

He walked me through the schedule that they use for different age groups and some good programming ideas. We talked about what he loves about working with this ministry.

But when I asked what he wished he knew before starting with this ministry, what he feels is most important, he paused. He couldn’t initially think of anything, saying he was still learning a lot. At first, I really had to work to get things out of his brain, but then he easily came up with these ideas:

Read the rest of this post on the Mission: Allendale blog.

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