- 55% of responders said they donate between 11-15% of their gross income
- 17% said they give 5-10%
- 13% give <5%
- 10% give 16-20%
- 3% give more than 20% of their gross income.
Survey Results: Charitable Giving
Thanks to everyone who took the poll, which asked "How much do you give to charity?" Here's a quick summary of the results:
Teaching Stewardship: Practical Application
In the previous post, I gave some Biblical principles for teaching stewardship. Now that are equipped with that knowledge, here are three practical ways to reach your child's heart:
Prayer
As I mentioned in the previous post, I cannot force my child to worship God. I can only pray for God's mercy and for the Spirit to work in and soften his heart, so that he may worship the Lord. While I do have responsibilities (more on that below), I have to start with prayer.
It is bad theology when people say, "When all else fails, we need to pray." Prayer should be our first option, not our last resort.
Preaching the Truth
We have to teach our children the truth, the God has revealed in the Bible. But remember that teaching truth is not just restricted to family worship time, but should be part of the normal conversation of life (Deuteronomy 6:6-9).
Children love stories, so use them! You can use the illustration of fruit trees. It's most helpful if you have a fruit tree in your yard, or if you have ever picked apples, or strawberries, or whatever . Use the image that Jesus used, to explain that their actions and attitudes reveal the sin in their heart -- just as the fruit reveals what kind of plant you have -- and that Jesus came to die for their sins. Remind them that you are not so much concerned about their actions (the "bad" fruit of irresponsibility and selfishness, in this case), but that you are concerned for their hearts. If their hearts are abiding in Jesus (John 15), then they will have a pattern of bearing good fruit.
Furthermore, tell real life stories. Tell them when you have trusted God and been a good steward, and when you have failed to do so. And make all your teaching and story-telling point to the redemption that we have in Jesus.
Practice and Discipline
Here's an idea that a friend taught us, to teach about irresponsibility. Go back to Jesus' parable of the talents; the message is that if we cannot be trusted with a little, then we cannot be trusted with a lot.
One principle that we've been taught is to "parent inside the funnel" (see the parenting video here). At a young age, a child's responsibility and freedoms must be kept limited. But they can earn more freedoms by demonstrating more responsibility as they grow and mature. Where we (my wife and I, as well as most parents) mess up is that we tend to get "outside the funnel" -- we often give our kids too much freedom that they are not ready for. And then things go crazy, and it's our own fault! So, we then have to pull back, and pulling our children back into the funnel is much harder than keeping them there in the first place.
So, explain to your child that you are going to help him learn to be responsible with however much he can handle. Start by taking away some of his possessions and freedoms, and explain that you will keep doing so until you find the level of stuff that he can be responsible with.
Warning: this might mean that you will have to remove half of the stuff in his room, or more! Another warning: don't just expect instant success, as I shared about how we took away our kids' Legos for a time.
The level of responsibility that each child can handle will vary from child to child. There is no universal right-or-wrong answer. Each child's personality, maturity, and temperament will dictate how much freedom and responsibility he can handle.
Other Ideas
I'd love to know if you have some other practical ideas that you have used to teach children responsibility and/or generosity. Leave your thoughts in the comments.
Whatever applications we implement, we must remember that this is an issue of worship. The reason that we can be both unappreciative and selfish at the same time is that we focus on ourself. We worship ourselves more than we worship God, and we love ourselves more than we love others.
To help us (and our children) become God-worshipers -- instead of self-worshipers -- we need prayer, truth, and discipline.
Related Links:
- Pray
- Preach the Truth
- Practice and Discipline
Prayer
As I mentioned in the previous post, I cannot force my child to worship God. I can only pray for God's mercy and for the Spirit to work in and soften his heart, so that he may worship the Lord. While I do have responsibilities (more on that below), I have to start with prayer.
It is bad theology when people say, "When all else fails, we need to pray." Prayer should be our first option, not our last resort.
Preaching the Truth
We have to teach our children the truth, the God has revealed in the Bible. But remember that teaching truth is not just restricted to family worship time, but should be part of the normal conversation of life (Deuteronomy 6:6-9).
Children love stories, so use them! You can use the illustration of fruit trees. It's most helpful if you have a fruit tree in your yard, or if you have ever picked apples, or strawberries, or whatever . Use the image that Jesus used, to explain that their actions and attitudes reveal the sin in their heart -- just as the fruit reveals what kind of plant you have -- and that Jesus came to die for their sins. Remind them that you are not so much concerned about their actions (the "bad" fruit of irresponsibility and selfishness, in this case), but that you are concerned for their hearts. If their hearts are abiding in Jesus (John 15), then they will have a pattern of bearing good fruit.
Furthermore, tell real life stories. Tell them when you have trusted God and been a good steward, and when you have failed to do so. And make all your teaching and story-telling point to the redemption that we have in Jesus.
Practice and Discipline
Here's an idea that a friend taught us, to teach about irresponsibility. Go back to Jesus' parable of the talents; the message is that if we cannot be trusted with a little, then we cannot be trusted with a lot.
One principle that we've been taught is to "parent inside the funnel" (see the parenting video here). At a young age, a child's responsibility and freedoms must be kept limited. But they can earn more freedoms by demonstrating more responsibility as they grow and mature. Where we (my wife and I, as well as most parents) mess up is that we tend to get "outside the funnel" -- we often give our kids too much freedom that they are not ready for. And then things go crazy, and it's our own fault! So, we then have to pull back, and pulling our children back into the funnel is much harder than keeping them there in the first place.
So, explain to your child that you are going to help him learn to be responsible with however much he can handle. Start by taking away some of his possessions and freedoms, and explain that you will keep doing so until you find the level of stuff that he can be responsible with.
Warning: this might mean that you will have to remove half of the stuff in his room, or more! Another warning: don't just expect instant success, as I shared about how we took away our kids' Legos for a time.
The level of responsibility that each child can handle will vary from child to child. There is no universal right-or-wrong answer. Each child's personality, maturity, and temperament will dictate how much freedom and responsibility he can handle.
Other Ideas
I'd love to know if you have some other practical ideas that you have used to teach children responsibility and/or generosity. Leave your thoughts in the comments.
Whatever applications we implement, we must remember that this is an issue of worship. The reason that we can be both unappreciative and selfish at the same time is that we focus on ourself. We worship ourselves more than we worship God, and we love ourselves more than we love others.
To help us (and our children) become God-worshipers -- instead of self-worshipers -- we need prayer, truth, and discipline.
Related Links:
Teaching Stewardship: Principles and the Gospel
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| image courtesy of Pink Sherbet Photography via flickr |
Stewardship
I think the terminology that we need to move towards is stewardship, not "ownership." To be a steward is to take care of something that is not mine. Everything around me is God's, not mine. Psalm 24:1 says, "The earth is the LORD'S, and all it contains; the world, and those who dwell in it."
This idea of stewardship meets both issues that your kids are struggling with -- both the irresponsibility and the selfishness.
- Since it's not mine, but God's, I should take care of it. God's ownership should lead to my responsibility.
- Since it's not mine, but God's, I should freely share it. God's ownership should lead to my generosity.
Greatest Commandment
Another way to think of this issue is through the lens of Matthew 22:36-40. Jesus tells us to love God and love others. Here's how this passage (called "The Greatest Commandments") meets these issues:
- Loving God. Being a good steward is an act of worship. It is acknowledging and acting on the truth that God owns everything.
- Loving Others. Being a good steward is an act of brotherly love. It shows that I consider others better than myself (Philippians 2:3).
Gospel-Living
Of course, we must be careful that we move past their actions and words, and get to their hearts with the gospel. Behavior is not nearly as important as their hearts and attitudes. The sinful behaviors we see are actually good, in a sense! Their actions and words are reveal their hearts, allowing us to see the sin that Jesus wants to deal with. Here are two passages that help us see this:
- Luke 6:43-45 teaches that just as fruit reveals what kind of tree you have, that our actions reveal who we truly are on the inside.
- Similarly, James 3:9-12 teaches that our speech reveals the condition of who we really are.
What children need help understanding is that they cannot love God and love their possessions at the same time (Luke 16:13). As Tedd Tripp writes in Shepherding a Child's Heart, all children are worshipers. They will either worship God, or they will worship themselves and things in the world. They will worship God the Creator and Provider, or they will worship what He's created and given.
Here's the thing -- we cannot force our kids to be worshipers of God. We have to realize that it is going to be their choice, and I think it's OK to tell them that. We tell our kids, "This is what a follower of Jesus looks like, and if you want to follow and trust in Him, you are going to have to let Him change you from the inside out." But my child's faith is not completely in my hands (see point #7 in A Response to Comments on "How Do We Know That God Is Real?")
Our main job as parents is to expose their sin, and point them to the sufficiency and love of Jesus.
Check out some practical ideas that go along with these principles.
Q&A: Children and Their Possessions
Recently I received an email from a friend:
So, the issue is that her kids (like my own kiddos) are both unappreciative and selfish. How can we lead our children towards responsibility and generosity? I'll attempt to answer that by giving some principles and some application.
I am struggling with my children on several issues related to possessions. Because my kids are so blessed with all sorts of toys, stuffed animals games... our house is constantly a mess. The kids lose interest in a toy and leave it right where they were playing with it. They often lose a piece of a puzzle or the spinner to a game without really noticing. I feel like I am constantly nagging about taking care of what God has blessed us with.
The other side of this issue is that they cling with all their might to stuff. Cleaning up rooms often results in tears and pleading with me to not throw away old scraps of paper, half finished craft projects and HappyMeal Toys which have not been played with for years. The mention of donating items that we no longer play is not well received either.
I feel like I am failing my kids on both fronts- they are not appreciative of what they have been given and yet they cling to stuff in an unhealthy manner. Do you have any wisdom on this issue?
So, the issue is that her kids (like my own kiddos) are both unappreciative and selfish. How can we lead our children towards responsibility and generosity? I'll attempt to answer that by giving some principles and some application.
Cats & Asperger Syndrome
Joanna told me about this book, and I'm so glad I got a chance to read it a few weeks ago. It's called All Cats Have Asperger Syndrome
. Less than 70 pages, with few words, lots of cute pictures (if you like cats), and plenty of thoughts to ponder. Here are some tidbits:- "He likes to be near those he loves, but doesn't want them to hold him."
- "Loud sounds and sudden movements may scare him."
- "He's often fussy about what he eats."
- "He can do the same thing over and over again, without getting bored."
And my favorite:
- "Don't forget, everyone is different in his own way and there is a little bit of Asperger in us all."
If you know anyone (adult or child) who has autism spectrum disorder, this book is a must buy
. Related Link:
Saturday Round-Up (August 26)
Last week's posts were in alphabetical order by title. Today's are alphabetical by the source's website.
Lose with Dignity. The first of a 2-part series about how to handle yourself whether in victory or defeat.
Where's My Older Woman?. When we read or hear teaching about mentorship, we ask God to bring mentors in our lives. But maybe we should focus more on who we can pour into.
Johnny Cash, "Hurt". Great analysis of Cash's video of "Hurt" - with the focus on the realization of the brevity of life and vanity of fame. Here's the video:
Teaching the Trinity to Kids. I am a big fan of explaining theology to kids. But when it comes to hard topics, like the Trinity, the temptation is to utilize silly (or even heretical) analogies. Sometimes, we just need to teach the foundations without trying to make everything make sense to them.
Toxicity of Aromatase Inhibitors. This article may not make much sense to you, but it's related to what I did my Master's Degree work on. As you can imagine, when people ask what I researched, I would simply say "breast cancer research."
Parenting By Prayer. Reading this was convicting for me. Usually I am so focused on my own skills in getting to my kids' hearts, that I fail to cry out to the One who can actually change their hearts.
Stress Turns Your Hair Gray. What stress does to your body is not just a temporary setback in your health. It actually causes permanent damage to your DNA.
6 Steps to Building a Team (Like Jesus Did). Jesus seemed to break all the rules when it came to team-building, like choosing uneducated nobodies and giving impossible tasks. We must even expect success, failure, and betrayal.
Lose with Dignity. The first of a 2-part series about how to handle yourself whether in victory or defeat.
Where's My Older Woman?. When we read or hear teaching about mentorship, we ask God to bring mentors in our lives. But maybe we should focus more on who we can pour into.
Johnny Cash, "Hurt". Great analysis of Cash's video of "Hurt" - with the focus on the realization of the brevity of life and vanity of fame. Here's the video:
Teaching the Trinity to Kids. I am a big fan of explaining theology to kids. But when it comes to hard topics, like the Trinity, the temptation is to utilize silly (or even heretical) analogies. Sometimes, we just need to teach the foundations without trying to make everything make sense to them.
Toxicity of Aromatase Inhibitors. This article may not make much sense to you, but it's related to what I did my Master's Degree work on. As you can imagine, when people ask what I researched, I would simply say "breast cancer research."
Parenting By Prayer. Reading this was convicting for me. Usually I am so focused on my own skills in getting to my kids' hearts, that I fail to cry out to the One who can actually change their hearts.
 |
| image courtesy of Getty Images |
6 Steps to Building a Team (Like Jesus Did). Jesus seemed to break all the rules when it came to team-building, like choosing uneducated nobodies and giving impossible tasks. We must even expect success, failure, and betrayal.
Fast Forward to "Mission: Allendale"
Since I started this blog last October, a lot of changes have been made. For example,
Over the past few months, I've been considering how this blog has gained a following of a variety of different perspectives. Some have looked for parenting insight (Lord knows why they are looking to me), others wanted to stay in touch with our mission in Allendale, and others wanted both.
Additionally, a friend suggested I would have more flexibility if I switched to Wordpress, instead of Blogger. I hate change, but I think he's right.
So over the next few months, I hope to transition over to a new blog platform. The first step involves moving all my writings about Allendale to my new site, Mission: Allendale. It's a work in progress, and I'm trying to add the features I want, like an easy way to subscribe and such.
If you want to follow this journey of ours,
You can start by checking out today's post, I Wish I Could Fast Forward and Look Back. This is a recap of our journey over the past year.
Here's an excerpt:
**Note: For now, parenting (and other) posts will stay on this blog.
Hope you enjoy today's post and the new blog!
- My post frequency went from 2 times per week, to 3, to 4 or 5, to 6, and now to at least once per day.
- I learned a lot about what tools and features make it easier for readers (like full posts in the automatic feeds)
- I started writing exponentially more about our adventure in Allendale. I explained how this fits into the theme of "A Different Way" in Where Am I?
Over the past few months, I've been considering how this blog has gained a following of a variety of different perspectives. Some have looked for parenting insight (Lord knows why they are looking to me), others wanted to stay in touch with our mission in Allendale, and others wanted both.
Additionally, a friend suggested I would have more flexibility if I switched to Wordpress, instead of Blogger. I hate change, but I think he's right.
So over the next few months, I hope to transition over to a new blog platform. The first step involves moving all my writings about Allendale to my new site, Mission: Allendale. It's a work in progress, and I'm trying to add the features I want, like an easy way to subscribe and such.
If you want to follow this journey of ours,
- Go over to Mission: Allendale and bookmark it.
- Even better, sign up for the Email Subscription (look to the right column)
- If you prefer the RSS feeds (like me), sign up for that. I'm going to get a better way to subscribe, but haven't had time yet. Or try this link: http://missionallendale.wordpress.com/feed/
- Give me feedback! Tell me what you like or don't like about this design, or if there are broken links. Leave a comment or email me. Don't hold back.
- Help me spread the word by sharing posts by email, Facebook, Twitter, etc. You'll see those options at the bottom of each post.
You can start by checking out today's post, I Wish I Could Fast Forward and Look Back. This is a recap of our journey over the past year.
Here's an excerpt:
"A lot happened between November and January, but there was a bigger story going on. Some of you know that the entire year of 2010 was a transition for us. . . . We had been asking God to grow us, and increase our faith, and use us to have an impact. We just couldn't figure out what He was doing. Being in that season like that flat out sucks."
**Note: For now, parenting (and other) posts will stay on this blog.
Hope you enjoy today's post and the new blog!
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