A Different Way

Proverbs Family

I hate that we're missing the sermon series from Grace Church (Greenville, SC) this summer, on excerpts from the book of Proverbs. But are glad that we can get the teaching series online -- audio, video, and notes.

In particular, the past two weekends have been great topics -- on parenting and Biblical femininity.

Disciplined Parenting
In a culture where 80% of Christians say they put their faith in Christ by age 14, and where 85% of Christians leave the church before their sophomore year in college, we know we have a problem. For Christian parents, Passing on Your Faith must be more than a one-day-per-week event and a bunch of knowledge about God. Information (about God) must lead to transformation. God has to be the biggest thing in our home, every day -- not just on Sundays and before meals.

On the Grace Church Pastors Blog is a summary of the teaching. Besides some recommended resources, there is a list of 8 principles that disciplined parenting must include:

Supremacy of God
Intentionality
Consistency
Authority
Community
Centrality of the Gospel
Practicality
Individuality

I highly recommend you listen to the full sermon, or watch it below:

The Excellent Wife
The previous week was a sermon by Bill White, on Proverbs 31, the most famous passage in women's Bible studies. One important principle to remember is that being married is only a season in a person's life. Marriage is not a woman's (or a man's) identity.

The following teaching has been helpful for me to understand Joanna. She is my partner, and is a nurturer to the core. That is, she gives her power up for the sake of making others powerful. She is a nurturer for me, our kids, and (more recently) for the children in the after school program where I work and where she serves.

Likewise, this teaching has been helpful for Joanna to understand her own identity in Christ.

Now What?
I need wisdom. I need to grow and learn. I need to read through Proverbs (again) for my own sake. After all, the message of the gospel is all throughout the book of Proverbs. God, in His graciousness, reveals the way that humanity should live.

And I know that my kids need wisdom, and they need me to help them get it. So, I started reading through the book of Proverbs with my kids. You would think that's an obvious thing, but it took me hearing that from two or three people in the past month before I decided to heed that advice.

Related Link:

4 Shocking Facts About Allendale Demographics

Here are some quick data about Allendale County, from the 2010 Census.

The county has a population of 10,400 -- a decrease of 800 people from 2000.
40% of the people live below the poverty line -- more than twice the state average.
In the 10 mile radius around Fairfax (the 2nd largest town in the county), only 44% of the population is employed. The other 56% are unemployed, imprisoned, children, retirees, etc.
In the same 10 mile radius, only 65% of those age 25+ have a high school education (versus the national average of 85%).

Compassion International

As a grad student, around Christmas time, I heard my first radio ad for Compassion International. I didn't have much money, but I figured that I could give up on $18 per month (I think that was the cost of sponsorship back then). Honestly, I didn't really know what I was getting into. I just felt like the right thing to do.

Now over a decade later, I am still a sponsor -- rather, my family is a sponsor. In the past 8 years, I have traveled to 2 Third-World countries, and now live in an impoverished area, so I have seen firsthand the needs for those who live in generational poverty. It's amazing to think that just $38 per month can provide a child with food, clothing, education, and hope.

And the blessings have been returned to my family as well. Sponsoring children has given Joanna and I a great tool to help expand our kids' worldviews. We want them to think bigger than just their neighborhood, church, city, state, and country. As parents, we want them to know that God created and loves people all over the world, even those that look and speak differently than they do.

Obviously, I think a lot of this organization. But don't just take my word for it. Here are a couple of our bloggers that testify to the potential for changed lives through Compassion.

The Simple Mom writes that the mere ability to give is a luxury.
Keeper of the Home shares thoughts from her husband, who gives 6 reasons why Compassion is a good investment. One of the reasons that I have continued to support this ministry is the fact that it continually receives top-tier ratings among charities.

Consider sponsoring a child today!

Related Link:

Kenya vs Hannah

Granny Games

Share this if you love your Grandmother!

"I'm retired, you maggot!"

My Passive Son Needs the Gospel

Sleeping is good. Passivity is not.

I wrote yesterday about the need for men to stay connected to their children. And I also mentioned a ministry called Men's Roundtable, which has helped me over the past 10 years understand what it means to be a man. According the teachers of this material, one of the things a real man does is reject passivity. Our (that is, for men) core sin is that of sitting back and watching bad things happen.

A History of Passivity
This passivity was seen in Adam's sin (Genesis 3), where he was standing right with Eve while a talking snake told her lies.

My passivity is seen in every day situations. I know that God puts me in places to be a leader, or to at least assist others, but I often fail to step up like I need to. Instead of responding as God would have me, I fear failure and fear rejection by others.

And more and more, I see this passivity in my son, Elijah. This tends to be evident in his failure to act and his failure to take responsibility.

Failure to Act
Last week, Elijah wanted to sit near Hannah as she played computer. All the other nearby chairs were being used, except one that had a bag in it. Elijah looked around for another chair, and then looked at that bag-holding-chair, and then said, "I'll just stand up." Sender looked at him with confusion, got up, moved the bag from the chair to the floor, and said, "Look, Elijah."

Elijah would have chosen to suffer (albeit, mildly) instead of taking the momentary effort to move a small bag out of the chair. He chose the quicker and easier path, instead of what would have been more comfortable in the long-run. He chose immediate over delayed gratification.

Failure to Take Responsibility
Throughout school, my English teachers cringed at the constant use of the passive voice of verbs. For a quick recap, here is a comparison between the passive and active voices:

Passive: "The boy was hit by the rock."
Active: "The rock hit the boy."

The active voice has the form "Doer - Action - Receiver of the Action." Because the passive voice reverses this normal order, the reader has to work harder to understand the meaning of the sentence.

What does this have to do with the sin of passivity? Here are some examples of recent explanations given by Elijah:

"The plant got knocked over." What he should have said was, "I knocked the plant over."
"Sender hurt his knee." A more accurate explanation would have been, "I pushed Sender, and that made him hit his knee on the dresser."
"Nobody told me to do brush my teeth." Umm . . . . Doesn't he remember that he brushes his teeth every morning? Better would have been, "I chose to play Lego's instead of brushing my teeth."

Notice what he is doing in each situation. Instead of putting the focus on himself -- as you would in the active voice -- he turns it around to focus on the receiver of the action (the plant, Sender, teeth).

How the Gospel Meets Passivity
Men are called by God to be leaders. Men are called by God to produce, not just to consume. Men are called by God to get things done, not to idly watch others fill the gaps.

Like me, Elijah struggles with passivity. He would rather take the easy road than the right road. While he knows that this is wrong, he can never change on his own. He cannot muster up enough power to do what's right. He needs the Spirit of power (II Timothy 1:7) to change Him from the inside out.

When he fails to own up to his failures, and decides to blame others, he needs to understand the Gospel. He needs to trust in Jesus' forgiveness, and to receive and clothe himself with the grace of Christ, along with owning up to his responsibilities and failures. Instead of ignoring or minimizing his sin, he needs to confess His sins to God (I John 1:9).

Pray that your son would worship Jesus over his own selfish desires. Pray that your son would rest in the grace that Christ offers, instead of in his own talents and wisdom.

Related Links:

The Phases of Raising Boys
My Son Is Learning to Pursue
Biblical Parenting versus Gospel Parenting
So Blessed to Be His Dad
Boys to Men
Missing the "Why" of the Gospel

4 Things That Dads Need to Do to Be Connected to Their Family

Previously, I wrote about 3 Basic Problems in Allendale -- education, teenage pregnancy, and disconnected dads. The latter issue I wrote about the least, but it is the most important of those three. Dads need to stay involved.

So what does it look for Dad to be connected? They need to be present, talk, play, and learn.

Read more on the Mission: Allendale blog . . .

Pictures from Beach Weekend

We're thankful for family friends that let us crash on their family vacation for a couple of days.

A stop in Beaufort meant lunch at Moe's (YUM!) and a trip to the waterfront playground.