More on Baptism

I have written a handful of posts about children and baptism, including:

• Is My Child Ready for Communion? Part 1 and Part 2
• Baptism Before Communion?
• 10 Principles for Shepherding My Child Through Salvation and Baptism

I believe that baptism is a critical part of the spiritual formation of a child (or an adult, for that matter). It's not the ultimate goal, but a part of the process of following Jesus.

I also have believed that a person should only be baptized after becoming a professing believer in Jesus. But I've been strict -- maybe too strict, and not always for the right reasons -- on what it means to be a professing believer in Jesus. It's a fine line to walk, especially since I carry a weight of responsibility for my children.

That's why I've been thankful for a couple of recent articles by Justin Taylor, writing for The Gospel Coalition. These have solidified some parts of what I've believed, and challenged other parts. But as a whole, they have helped me understand the grace and power contained in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

1.  The Fear of Baptizing Children.  This article addresses what I refer to above as "not always for the right reasons." Instead of being motivated by hope, joy, and expectation, I am often hindered by my own fear and lack of faith. By restricting my son who wants to be baptized, have I -- as Julian Freeman puts it -- suffocated him?
2. Once More on the Baptism of Children.  Justin gives a few more resources to help the reader in this process.

I hope you enjoy these as well.

Thoughts Askew

I love looking through the quarterly Furman Alumni magazine, especially when I read about someone I went to school with, such as the friend who is now a astrophysicist (never knew one in real life, before her) or my former chemistry lab partner that joined the Peace Corps.

Sometimes, though, the stories aren't so happy. Such is the case with Major Ken Dwyer (I'll always know him as "Kenny"). We came in as freshman together, and as a ROTC member, he was always in top-notch shape. He probably enjoyed games of sand volleyball more than hours in the library, but can you blame him?

A few years ago, however, he was severely injured while serving in Afghanistan. Injured as in losing an eye and an arm. This husband, and father of 2 kids, has had his life changed completely. But the trauma would have been worse if not for the support and help of the Wounded Warrior Foundation.

In honor of Kenny, another Furman classmate, Alastair McCandless, is walking across America to raise money for the Wounded Warrior Foundation. You can learn more about his journey on his blog, Thoughts Askew.

You can help by donating to the project, by encouraging him with a blog comment, or by just praying for his journey, and by praying for Major Dwyer and his family.

The Logic of Lying

Dear Children of All Ages --

I have some advice for you -- those of you who want to break some rules (or bend them, depending on your perspective), especially if you want to couple that with outright lying.

We can debate whether what you did was outright wrong (my perspective) or a misunderstanding (your perspective). We may not get anywhere there (though I had already addressed a parallel issue two months ago).

But if you are going to claim that you did nothing wrong (to the best of your knowledge), do not tell a bold-faced lie to cover up what you and your accomplice(s) did. If you did nothing wrong, why would you need to lie about it?

So, either you did something wrong and you knew it, or you were innocent but then did wrong by lying. You can't be innocent of both counts.

Busted, and busted again.

Logically Yours,
--  Me


Related Link:

• Truth, Lies, and Satan 

**image courtesy of ktylerconk via flickr

A Sometimes Napper

More often than not, Sender (age 5+) does not nap. He does have rest time, though, just about every day.

He stays in his bed (supposedly) for 90 minutes or so. Usually we give him books, or sometimes he just plays with stuffed animals or other small toys. The only reason he's allowed to get up is if he needs to go to the bathroom.

Of course, he uses "going to the bathroom" as a way to get up multiple times during this rest time. Either he's manipulative, or he has severe bladder issues.

As I said, sometimes he falls asleep. Mostly he stays awake and plays. And every now and then, he'll stay awake (and play and get up to go to the bathroom), but will fall asleep just minutes before we planned to allow him to get up.

And sometimes he falls asleep having outlined himself with some of those stuffed animals. . . .

And sometimes, even though it's 88 degrees in the house, he bundles himself up with 3 warm blankets. . . .

Related Links:

• How Do You Get Your Kids to Stay in Bed?   
• Not Bored. Self-Engaged.  

Knowing That God Is Real

Last year, we had an interesting discussion about how and if we can know that God is real. Here is a recap of the series.

1. How Do We Know That God Is Real?  My son Elijah asked me this a few years ago.
2. A Response to Comments  There was, apparently, some misunderstandings and some bad reasoning.
3. More Thoughts  From a friend who left comment.
4. Do We Need Evidence for God?  When I was a young believer, I went through a season of doubt and confusion.

The Bible and Spanking

Such a funny image, I had to use it again

In The Dangers of Spanking, and of Not Spanking, I addressed the cultural debate about whether it is right to spank a child. (I say, "Yes, in the proper context.")

But there are two extremes that that we must be careful about -- that there is there is one way to dsipline according to the Bible and that the Bible does not at all direct parents to spank. I'll talk about both of these.


"This Is God's Way"
Let's be clear. The Bible does not give a clear procedure for how to discipline a child. If a speaker or author claims to say, "This is how the Bible says to spank," you should immediately be on guard. Don't completely ignore the person, because there may be good principles. In fact, principles (based on grace, love, authority, and safety) are what we need to be looking for.

You cannot claim that the Bible teaches a specific way to spank, any more than you can claim that the Bible commands parents to homeschool their children.


"The Bible Doesn't Command Spanking"
Some folks, both in and out of the church, make the case that the Bible does not at all promote spanking as a tool of discipline. Many point to the Proverbs passages about the "rod of discipline" (such as Proverbs 22:15) and equate the rod with a symbol of authority.

However, we must also note that there is a level of pain or discomfort associated with a rod. When the author of Hebrews speaks about a father disciplining a son (in chapter 12), it is clear that there is something unpleasant about discipline. A physical consequence seems to be warranted (though not commanded).

And even if the Bible would not address this topic, that does not mean that we shouldn't do it. The absence of evidence is not evidence.

For more on this topic, please checkout the following articles:

• Is Spanking Your Child Ultimately Unbiblical? (from The Gospel Coalition)
• Recommended: Shepherding a Child's Heart (a book which touches on this subject; a must read for parents)

More on Allowances and Responsibilities

Responsibility Chart

Earlier this year, I asked if you gave your kids an allowance. Your insight has been extremely helpful for us, as we considered how to equip our own children to be good stewards of their finances.

As a follow up, here's what we've decided to do for our family. Maybe it will help those of you who are in the process of deciding (along with all the great feedback I got on the original post):

• They each get a monthly allowance of half their age (therefore, Hannah, age 10, gets $5 per month). This amount seems less than what most readers do for their children. Shhhhhh. Don't tell our kids.
• They have a set of daily and weekly responsibilities; these things are what they can do to contribute to our family. (We have the right to add additional tasks, of course.) These contributions include:
• Putting away dishes (all 3 kids)
• Hand-washing dishes after breakfast (older 2 kids)
• Vacuuming
• Taking out trash
• They can earn extra money by volunteering (or being assigned) to do additional work.
• They can lose money if they are not doing good work (not getting dishes clean, dawdling in their tasks, etc). We are focusing on repeated offenses, not one-time mistakes.

We'll continue to modify this list with time. We advised years ago to keep giving them some challenging work to do; don't let it all be what comes easy. We want them to develop a strong work ethic and a solid sense of personal responsibility.

Now that they have their own spending money, it's interesting to watch what they do with it. They are to take the first portions for giving and saving, but the rest can be spent (or saved for later spending).

Within days of her first allowance, Hannah spent $2 on a candy apple. She insists she's going to save to buy American Girl paraphernalia at the end of the year. We'll see how that goes.

Elijah's a keen saver, as is Sender. I think Sender finally used some of his spending money to buy some potato chips at a baseball game last week.

Related Links:

• Facilitating Independence: Why We're Giving Our Daughter a Clothing Allowance    
• Do Your Children Labor?   
• Seeking God with $20