tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7005096405985757065.post7625335589184813476..comments2023-12-25T12:27:32.155-05:00Comments on A Different Way: ADHD and Emotional Self-ControlJoey Espinosahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05962252428291430709noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7005096405985757065.post-66831888628337933202011-05-17T11:49:28.997-04:002011-05-17T11:49:28.997-04:00Great points, Valerie. Yes, I try to "catch&q...Great points, Valerie. Yes, I try to "catch" kids doing good, and reward them (whether with candy, privileges, or just verbal praise). Many of the kids love to tattle tale, but I was so proud yesterday when a girl came up to me to say that friend shared her Goldfish crackers.<br /><br />And, yes, we have a good bit of provoking, and it's usually intentional. I try to nip that in the bud. As far as I'm concerned, that's bullying, coming (as you say) out of a need for power and control.Joey Espinosahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05962252428291430709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7005096405985757065.post-34208675440537490682011-05-17T11:43:41.212-04:002011-05-17T11:43:41.212-04:002 more things to look for
1) Watch what happens BE...2 more things to look for<br />1) Watch what happens BEFORE those boys 'blow up', you may find that some of the 'good kids' are provoking them (by accident or purposeful). I'm sure there are many reasons for it, but some kids get a kick out of getting a rise out of someone. It gives them a little sense of control when they probably have very little over the rest of their life. I suggest spending a good part of one afternoon just watching them and their interactions with others.<br />2) My youngest's therapist has come up with a few helpful tips for teaching him anger management. I will email a copy of it to you this week. <br />I realize that my kids are not exactly like all other kids and that different things work for different people, but each of my kids has significant and very different issues (oppositional behavior, ADHD, constant lying, and Autism, to name a FEW), so I tried many things.Valerie Campbellnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7005096405985757065.post-188937048103697632011-05-17T11:28:34.707-04:002011-05-17T11:28:34.707-04:00I am allll to familiar with this. I'm sure you...I am allll to familiar with this. I'm sure you have observed some cases of ODD as well, whether you know it or not. Google it. Having foster kids, I am dealing with a lot of the same stuff as you are!<br /><br />My 1 consistantly well behaved kid (of the 4 foster kids) gets upset when I give significant rewards to the others for small improvements on issues that he has mastered (and is quick to point out the bad that his siblings are doing). It has been a learning experience for him as well as I have had to explain to him the concept of praise and how it leads to seeing more of the good behavior. I am trying to get him on the bandwagon of praising his siblings when they do things right (and he is coming around to this).<br />Maybe you could also talk to the 'well behaved kids' about taking notice and saying something when the other boys do something right. It is so easy for everyone to focus on the bad behavior because it stands out so much, but teaching everyone around those wilder kids to notice when they are doing what they are supposed to, even if it is the one time they do something right, and then tell them 'good job' for it will help everyone involved.<br />One of my kids has been told he's being 'bad' so many times, that he THINKS HE IS BAD and so continues the cycle...Valerie Campbellnoreply@blogger.com